Last night, I had an interesting telephone conversation with a friend of mine of nearly ten years. The both of us were going on about lost loves and things that could’ve been, when midway through it all, I caught myself issuing nothing but logical rebuttals to her emotionally charged anecdotes of times that her relationship felt like it wasn’t worthwhile.
Her: I remember this one time when he said, “I only want to be with you if you’re going to change.” I said, why should I be the one to change? “Because I have my career at a grocery store. I’m learning about stocking, and beers, and managing the store.” And I have law school, I replied. “So? You could just move in with me and drop that.”
Me: So you’re upset at the fact that conversations typically went nowhere, then?
Her: Yes, of course. It’s so annoying because I frankly felt like I was giving 100% while he was giving 70%. The worst part is that when I started giving 70%, he called me out on it.
Me: But you loved this man at one point. Besides, who’s to really judge which of the two of you is in the right?
Her: Because I feel it, Tom. After years of trying and not getting my same input back, I can just tell.
Me: Hmm, I’m not sure. I think the only thing you can be absolutely sure of is your own healthy decision, for your own benefit, of leaving a social situation that didn’t benefit you. Anything else? Way too subjective.
I mentally claimed victory in this discussion, but her rebuttal was swift and deadly.
Her: No. You might be right, but that doesn’t really matter. My conviction was based on emotion. Pure emotion. Try feeling it sometime.
That killed me, man. But in a form of murder that prefaces reincarnation into a much more enlightened spirit. I can’t even – well, I could but I don’t want to – recall the countless times my former lover and I got into spats where one of us fought with emotion and the other with logic. The outcome was always a stalemate, as if the both of us were fighting our own wars internally and just showing off the endless barrage of gunfire to each other to see who was more mentally tormented.
But the reason I’m like this – ha, there goes that word “reason” again – is because I find no greater tool for settling life’s problems and mediating disputes than logic. Emotion is indefensible, while logic is bulletproof. When emotion attempts to supercede logic, it can be shot down on those very grounds of being a weakling weapon of argument.
It won’t feel right, and it won’t sound right or look right, but that murder of emotion through logic will be right. That’s what matters to me the most. I am logical because I equate logic with the greatest appeal to righteousness that man has at his disposal. Civilizations have and must continue to ride on logic if if moving forward and progressing is the goal.
If this post only made you more confused, don’t worry. Somtimes, I’m so wrapped up in my logic that I don’t even make sense. But if I do make sense to you … message me. I think you and I should talk.